Wednesday, December 17, 2014
I have been thinking about why it is I do Ashtanga yoga and at the end of the day I realized I do it because I just want to be a good, honest, and simple man. I feel like the more I do yoga the more of a chance there is of that happening. I have faith in this practice that if I do it I'm going to be okay and the beautiful parts of me will be able to bring forth fruit.
Unfortunately a part of my life consist of me getting in my own way, being socially anxious, caring what people think, uncomfortable with myself, being selfish, I get led astray by bad habits, and I sometimes inflict pain on myself and others. It feels like the more yoga works on me the more its transcends and heals these aspects. Only I will ever know the healing it has brought me inside my soul in just a years time of daily practice. I will never be able to articulate that to someone how much better I feel inside, I am forever indebted and gracious,
Spiritual work if done with some sincerity brings lots of grace, blessings, and hard tests! Its brings forth and awakens the bodies higher intelligence and you develop some awareness about how to go about living righteously in the world. The problem is once yours eyes are opened you can never go back, it is now your responsibility to do the work! So now you take up this responsibility of doing your work, the things no one will ever see and also probably will never understand since I am such a doofus weirdo!
I've learned just a smidgen about gratitude and about having compassion in my ten years of trying to live a spiritual life, key word trying, mostly being full of shit though. I think spiritual work just awakens a deep inner sensitivity and it teaches you life is such a blessings and you have to work very hard to not let that gift go to waste.
In India they say it takes a thousand births to receive a human body! Its an auspicious thing and to think about how many thousands of human births it must of taken to get to the point where you find yoga. Its a double blessing I would think. It also says in the Bhagavad Gita those that try very hard in this life but are led astray and don't reach the final goal that there efforts will not be wasted. In the next life Krishna says you will be born into a house that practices yoga or a environment suitable for spiritual growth so you may continue your work, Thank fucking Jesus guys.
But still I want to give it a go in this life. I want to do profound work so I can have a good heart, sincerity, and do the right things. I want to interact with myself, the people around me, and the earth in a conscious way. I just want to be a good man and then later on be a cool old guy with maybe just a little bit of wisdom. I want to be Jeff bridges is really what I am saying.
The dude abides man.
And so I am off to India on this journey, to the land of Gods and saints. I have always had a fascination with this country, its religion, and people. I am going to the source of the ashtanga lineage to Mysore, India to study ashtanga yoga for about two months. I feel like I am jumping in the deep end of the pool so to speak but I am not stressing it all. The knowledge and wisdom I'll have access to and the ability to grow will be a tremendous opportunity. I am going with a bunch of my teachers as well, little do they know how subtlety annoying I will be trying to pick there brains every single day, god help them.
Life is really far out and really beautiful, I am trying my best and I think its going to be okay. India do what you will with me, help me to become Jeff Bridges, all glory to god, I will forever be giving thanks and praise.